Watching
by nightnovice
Summary: We tell our children that a loved one is watching over them, what might that story be from the watchers perspective. This is an AU future story about the newest Lorelai and what she and her watcher see.


Summary: We tell our children that a loved one is watching over them, what might that story be from the watchers perspective. This is an AU future story about the newest Lorelai and what she and her watcher see.

Disclaimer: No I did not create the Gilmore Girls I am just inspired by the witticism to write and after so many years of not writing it feels good to exercise the muse.

 **Watching**

Chapter 1 - Secrets

Sometimes being the middle child was frustrating, you aren't the first or the baby, you are just there. Then sometimes it is the best, like today, you are invisible. No one has seen you sitting in the chair with your book, if they have they aren't aware that you are listening, you get that from your mom, Glama tells you. They think you are focused in, even when you were four you had focus and now that you are seven you fool them even more. Your parents are beautiful, everyone says so. Look at them he is blonde, brown eyed with a hint of green, and she has brown hair like coffee with blue eyes that seem to shimmer with silvery sparkles when she laughs. She is laughing now, she tells him how happy she is they started out young, and you think 23 and 27 are old but they say they were lucky to find out so soon. At 36 your mother is still beautiful and she tells your father secrets, it is cute even to you. They are always looking at each other; even in a crowd they never seem to see anyone else. She has just told your father something big you can tell because he is spinning her around and she is nodding emphatically. You haven't seen her this happy since your brother William was born, she looked so happy holding him and you wanted so much to be the reason she was happy too, you were four did you make her happy, why did she need a new baby. Sometimes you and Richard your older brother ask and she always says we have more than enough love for you all. It's not that you don't feel loved you just wonder why it's never enough. They see Richard and William in the yard then notice you in the chair. Your mother comes over to you and picks you up, even at seven you love being in your mother's arms, she pulls you to her lap and says she has a secret. She loves telling you secrets and it makes you feel special, daddy is outside with the boys playing but you are in your mother's arms.

"You are going to have a little sister", she explains, "Just before Christmas Emmie will be here, what do you think Trix, are you ready to be a big sister to a girl? It's a big responsibility being a role model but I think you are up for the job."

She is petting your head as it rests on her shoulder, "What will I have to do?" You ask in wonder, you are only seven and a baby is a lot of work.

"Well mommy and daddy didn't think we would have any more babies after William, so we don't have any baby things, will you help me shop and make a pretty room for your new sister?" She looks at you with hope in her glittery eyes. You lean in and say of course, and ask if Glama is coming, which she is of course, you love her she is funny and always gives you treats even when mom says not too.

Chapter 2 – Believe

You are 16 now, and school is a bore, you breeze through courses and are told that is a gift from your father. Why is everyone always comparing you to someone else? You are yourself right? Then there is Roger, he follows you around like a puppy and Charlie who won't stop touching you, why won't they just stop. You are sitting under a tree in the quad reading Dorothy Parker when TJ comes over, he is every girls wish. He has sandy blonde hair and stormy blue eyes with a body made for the stylish suits you have seen him in at formal events, he even makes the stodgy school uniform look good. You have told your mother about him, and she warns you to be careful, but she is helpful in understanding these boys and their persistence. TJ sits beside you observing your notes.

"B-e-l-i-e-v-e, there is a lie in the middle of it, believe, isn't it ironic. I mean here is a word begging to be the truth and yet it lies." TJ sits across from you trying to start a conversation.

You look up, his eyes are stormy blue grey, even when he smiles and he is smiling at you.

"I guess I never thought of it. Thanks for pointing it out. What other words perplex you?" You look at him with a grin.

"Orange, nothing rhymes with it." He laughs, you smile and just like that you are talking with the most popular boy in school.

Days pass and he joins you more for lunch, conversations and even study hall, you are becoming the girl others envy, but he is just a friend right. You talk to your mother and she assures you he likes you as more, but he hasn't kissed you or held your hand so you wonder. Then a day comes where he asks you to the movies you agree but it can't be Friday night you have a family commitment. OK, so he will pick you up Saturday and you will go to the mall to see a movie. You tell your best friend Margie and she is beyond jealous, the two of you speak in giggly whispers about kissing and holding hands, you wonder if he wants to be your boyfriend, but you have heard he has never had girlfriend just girls who play. You are sure why but you don't want to play. You ask your mother if she ever just played and she is quiet. She tells you when she met your father in college she knew the only way he would go out with her is if she would play. She explains how hard it was and tells you about crying on Glama's bathroom floor over the experience. Then she tells you when she told your father it was over, she couldn't play he agreed to be her boyfriend and they have been together ever since, mostly. They have had their share of trouble, but they always work it out by being honest. You ask if you should play, she tells you only you know, but she hopes you won't because it is very hard on the heart and she doesn't want to see you hurt. You smile and agree, if he wants just to play you will tell him no, all or nothing and if it's nothing then OK, there are other boys who will give you their all. She smiles and kisses your temple. You love your mother; she is always your friend as well as a mom. Still you call Glama.

Glama tells you about being a mom at your age and how hard it was. Yes she remembers the story your mother shared but she also tells you about your mom's first kiss and you giggle while dipping your cookies in milk. She is so much fun and even though Emmie is here she always makes you feel special. The stories and movies you share with her make your friends so jealous, no one has the close relationship with their mom and Glama share. You love that you can share things with both of them, it is lucky to be one of the three Lorelai's your Glama tells you it's magical.

You go to the movies with TJ and he kisses you as the credits roll, you sink into his kiss not knowing why you are sinking but feeling the sinking sensation just the same. His hands stroke your back and this kiss isn't like mom or Glama told you a first kiss would be, this kiss is intense it makes your heart beat fast and you feel like you are drowning, Suddenly you are wide awake so you pull back gasping for breath and hope you don't look like a trout. He looks at you and kisses your nose.

"Come on Lorelai", he says standing as the lights come up, "We should get lunch", just like that he takes your hand and you are walking out of the theater.

"TJ?" You are timid and he takes you to the side, "What do you want from me?"

He looks at you puzzled, "What do you think I want?" he turns the table.

You are unsure as to proceed, "Am I your girlfriend or just another playmate?"

"Well I would hope you don't kiss boys who aren't your boyfriend like that." He chuckles, "Lore, you are different, smart and there is something about you that makes me want to protect you. I never saw that in another girl. If I tell you a secret will you believe me?"

You are standing in front of him, his hands are on your hips and you feel as safe as you do at home so you nod.

"I want to be a boyfriend guy, it's just the girls that like me don't want a boyfriend they want a toy so I play. If you will be my girlfriend I don't have to play. Do you understand?" He looks at you with such intensity you melt.

"I don't want to play either, and you aren't a toy, you are smart and clever and I think you will be the best boyfriend." Your heart is bursting and just like that you have had your first kiss and found your first love.

Chapter 3 – Darkness

You can hear her sobbing uncontrollably, your father hasn't left her side you sit with your brothers and sister, uncle, and Aunt Lane's kids, no one knows what to do for her. You are in shock does this make you Lorelai the second now? You are only 20 you can't be the next Lorelai it is too big a burden. You found the article your mom wrote about Lorelai I the one they nicknamed you for which apparently pleased Grandpa Richard to no end you are told, you don't remember him, he died when you were three. You wonder how Grandma Emily is doing; she had been in Paris when it happened. It was all so sudden, Glama shouldn't have gone; you think it should have been Emily, then you feel badly, guilty even. You get up and go to the kitchen, Sookie taught you some things so you are going to make mac-n-cheese making the cheese sauce is comforting and you hope it will encourage your mom to eat. You remember the last time you were with Glama, the three of you were eating chocolate ice cream and watching Dirty dancing, she had such a thing for Swayze, Grandpa Luke took the boys to a basketball game so you Emmie and Glama had a girls night, she was so fun and silly. You painted your nails and giggled about boys, Glama told you about her favorite movie love stories and the best candies for each one, and it was like she was your age. She should be here you think while stirring the sauce.

"Mom", you tap on the door, "can I come in." Dad lets you in. "I made Sookie's mac-n-cheese, please mom, have some. You are worrying us all and Glama would want you to eat."

You sit and pet her head while balancing the tray. She looks at the dish, you chose one with balloons around the edge that she used to bring when you were sick. She smiles at you through watery red eyes.

"Hmm, you made Sookie's mac-n-cheese for me? Oh, sweetie how can I say no." She says sitting up and wiping her eyes.

"Mom", you reach up and kiss her temple, "It'll be OK, I don't know how but it will be." You tell her this as she takes a small bite and your dad pats your knee, _you did good kid_ , you feel Glama in your heart say.

The funeral is too quiet, you feel this isn't Glama, this is some pod person Grandma Emily wanted her to be. You feel a boiling rebellion, you cycle through your MP3 player and using your mini speaker you start with Hero Takes a Fall and put the Bangles on shuffle, your mom laughs for the first time in days. Your sister gets up with your brothers and you all start to dance Grandma Emily is fussing but you can almost hear Glama laughing. This is how you say goodbye to a Lorelai you think, Grandpa Luke wraps you in a hug and kisses your cheeks.

"She would have loved this kid. You are so much like her. "He says holding you and you don't mind the comparison.

Chapter 4 – Sweetness and Light

You are 26 and the past few years flew by in a blur, school, first job, first apartment, first heartbreak. So many firsts you can't believe it all went by and still you think Glama should be there. Grandma Emily passed and although you were sad, everyone was sad it wasn't as heart wrenching as when Glama passed. The memory of her still makes you mist over sometimes. You wish she was here to eat eclairs dipped in hot fudge and to mock the people drinking coffee scavenged from monkey poo. You think of her when you watch Breakfast at Tiffany's while drinking your coffee through a red vine straw. Glama would be proud you think. You look at your life, your job and think; _I am doing OK as a Lorelai_. Glama would be proud.

All eyes are on you, you stand tall the day has arrived, your day, you stand at the back of the church all eyes are on you and your father is holding your arm, you hear the swell of music and take the first step into your new life and you hope you are as happy as your parents were as your grandparents, great grandparents, it's a gift. You are the reigning Lorelai "Trix" Huntzberger soon to be Saint Claire and you are ready for anything. Your dad leans in and whispers as he hands you to your soon to be husband, " _In Omnia Paratus_ ", and he kisses your cheek. In your heart you say thank you to your Glama, because she watched out for you, you know that now, and she is still watching.

The sun is just rising after the first snow of the season, it has been three years since you married and you gaze at the little pink bundle in your arms, "Hi Lorelai, welcome to the world." Somewhere in your heart you hear Glama say, _you did good kid_.

*END*


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